El-No: Pippa Longstalking

I'd like to blame the British.

We all made such a big deal over Pippa's tushie (myself included), that we accidentally encouraged her to wear leggings as pants. Years prior to tush-gate, Alexander McQueen (another Brit) popularized bumsters- a ridiculously low ride pant that exposed half of the wearer's bum.

I suspect they've unleashed this hell fire of pant problems on us as payback for the Revolutionary War. Or something equally horrible like Ke$ha's Tik Tok single out selling all the singles by The Beatles- (per that viral BuzzFeed article on popular music).

So anyway, England is mad at us and they are trying to get back at us by tricking Americans into going pantless. Then they plan to swoop in with their glossy princess and make us look dumb. Sneaky England.

Exhibit A: This girl

Miss El-No was strolling around the Jo Malone counter wearing tights as pants (not even leggings... actual opaque tights!!!). What is happening here? With more direct lighting, I probably would have been able to see her Queen Victoria.

Don't let Britain win. Show your pride in the USA - just say "yes" to pants.