El-No: Jorts - A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Beach
Monday, January 9, 2012 
I'm not the biggest fan of jean shorts.
Ok, that's a lie. I HATE jorts. I believe that they belong in the same level of hell as El Caminos, White Castle, and counterfeit luxury goods made by children. But, I understand that there is a time and a place for everything. That is, of course, until I saw examples of the world's tinest jean shorts.
Maybe it is a Miami thing? There were gaggles of gals walking the streets in short jorts that were soooo tiny that they might have been wearing a jean thong bikini. I'm wondering if these ladies were trying to channel the late great Rudi Gerinriech (designer of the outlawed monokini and pubikini)?
For those of you who are about to jet off somewhere tropical and fab (or if this oddly warm January lasts in Chicago), here are some tips to avoid entering hot pant hookerdom.
1. Shorts should not showcase your cuca.
2. Avoid pairing these jorties with over the knee boots or stilettos.
3. Highlight one body part at a time- if you want to show off the gams, cover up your chest and stomach.
Reader Comments (1)
I don't like jean shorts also. In fact, you can't find even one on my closet.