Whack! 

I got dharmad. I think that I'm hallucinating. 

My eyes were hit with this tie dye explosion and I might never be the same. 

Adults who wear tie dye are brave. Adults who pattern mix with two tie dyes are straight up crazy. 

Admittedly, Miss El-No was spotted at the gym. And we all know that sometimes it takes all of our effort to get to the gym... let alone look good. But tie dyed spandex is never the answer. NEVER. I don't care how toned your pilates booty has become. 

Miss El-No, I think this ensemble might be a better choice for your tie dye loving self: 

Tank: Hard Tail Tie Dye Cami with Shelf Bra for $62

Pant: Lululemon Run Inspire Crop II for $86

2006 called. 

Ashton and Paris would like their trucker hats back. 

Mrs El-No, I recognize that you are trying to be a cool mom. But wearing a trend from six years ago isn't going to help. Loose the lame lid please. 

It is freaking cold outside. Brrrrrrr. 

My first train ride of 2013 and I run smack into a outwear travesty (not to mention a major pet peeve). Seriously people! Is it so hard to just get a pair of scissors and snip the thread that holds the pleat closed?!

That stitch is just there to keep the pleat flat while in a retail store. Keeping the pleat closed ruins the line of the coat when you wear it. Notice how this closed vent make the coat pull across her bum? She is a lovely girl with a lovely cream colored wool coat. 

Make it stop. 

As I disembarked from the Blue line, I mentioned to Miss El-No that her coat vent was still closed. She looked at me like I had six heads. Whatever girlfriend, you're the one wearing Ugg slippers on the train. 

Those pants look uncomfortable. 

You know what else was uncomfortable? My eyes. 

I saw waaaaaay too much. 

My general rule of thumb is that slacks shouldn't be so tight that they offer a genetics lesson to unsuspecting pedestrians. 

The really troubling part was that this little lady works at Costco- the land of the return policy. You can return everything there... including pants that have been worn. Ahem. 

Might I suggest the lovely bootcut Seven jeans that I saw over near the table of baby pajamas? Take a right at the chocolate covered pretzel samples and go straight on 'til you hit the mother lode. Can't pry yourself out of these painted-on pants? I saw bolt cutters in an aisle somewhere north of the electronics.