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Entries in Activewear (6)

Monday
Apr292013

El-No: Psychedelic Pilates

Whack! 

I got dharmad. I think that I'm hallucinating. 

My eyes were hit with this tie dye explosion and I might never be the same. 

Adults who wear tie dye are brave. Adults who pattern mix with two tie dyes are straight up crazy. 

Admittedly, Miss El-No was spotted at the gym. And we all know that sometimes it takes all of our effort to get to the gym... let alone look good. But tie dyed spandex is never the answer. NEVER. I don't care how toned your pilates booty has become. 

Miss El-No, I think this ensemble might be a better choice for your tie dye loving self: 

Tank: Hard Tail Tie Dye Cami with Shelf Bra for $62

Pant: Lululemon Run Inspire Crop II for $86

 

Friday
Dec022011

El-No: The Moves Like Fonda

 

I'm alive(ish)!

I've been sick for a full week and am insanely bored. Each day, I have slowly migrated between the bedroom and the living room sofa- trailed by tissues and fat dogs. I have watched every cheesy movie possible (including Bad Teacher).

So with fingers crossed that I'm healing, I decided to actually write today.

I discovered Miss El-No on Sunday while working out. She came in late to my barre class and plopped down right next to me. I was instantly transfixed by her odd attire. I felt like I was in a time machine - destination: Old School Spandex.

As you can see, this little lady was wearing a high cut leotard, spandex tights/shorts/pants (the jury is still out) under said leotard, and baggy sweatpants. I sort of felt like I was in a dance rehearsal for MJ's Thriller.

At least she left the leg-warmers and sweatbands at home.

I think Miss El-No needs a little updating. Relax... She can get a more current look without breaking the bank! Target is one of my favs for scooping up inexpensive gym ensembles. She'll be ready for the barre with this Cardio Tank with Inner Bra from C9 by Champion. Pair that with these adorable Reversible Pants from C( by Champion and she'll be ready to roll.

 

Tuesday
Jun282011

El-No: A Little Bit Country, A Little Bit Cardio

I have been looking for a way to tone up for summer. Pilates and yoga? Hours on the treadmill?

Step aside Jillian Michaels; Miss El-No has it unlocked.

Apparently the new trend is cardio hoedown. Now I haven’t actually seen this advertised anywhere, but I am confident that it is coming to a sports club near us. Yee-haw!

Gym class line dancing is the only logical explanation for the Umbro soccer shorts/ cowboy boot combination. Either that or Patsy Cline here doesn’t know that performance materials are for playing sports. At least that was the intent when performance synthetics started being produced in the Eighties.

Miss El-No, please ditch the exercise gear and upgrade to something a little more summertime sassy. How about this cute dress from Shabby Apple? It pairs comfy jersey fabric with crisp sateen for only $86 and will look perfect with those boots. Order now and you will have it in time to wear it to the Carrie Underwood concert at Ravina.

*Thanks for the photo GAR!

 

Monday
Jun132011

El-No: Bare Bottomed Girls, You Make The Rockin’ World Go Round

I really should just mark my calendar.

Every June, nude bicyclists ambush me. Glistening with body paint and sweat, they bike through town to protest dependence on oil. “Less gas, more a$$.”

Usually this twig and berry parade interrupts my alfresco dinner and drinks. This year the Eighth Annual World Naked Bike Ride got me in mid sip at Gunners on Milwaukee Ave. Thank you riders, you made my gin gimlet mighty memorable.

Never one to miss a photo opportunity, I ran outside to capture the action. Then I saw a stray cyclist standing on the sidelines. Without the company of bare buddies, Miss El-No just looked like a lonely naked girl- looking for love and a pair of pants.

Biking in underwear, a bra, and a lacy situation just can’t be comfortable. Girlfriend needs a little padding in the seat region. How about these glorious Stella McCartney for Adidas padded biker shorts? Keep your goodies under wraps for only $80.50 from Zappos.

 

Friday
Jul302010

El-No: Elastic Cliptastic

I have a secret.

On Thursday, I ran errands wearing a Lululemon headband, a sports bra, and a black cotton short dress. I like to think of this as my “athletic” look, even though it really is my “I am too busy to wear real clothes” look. Yes, sometimes I slum it sporty style during the day.

But there are rules- rules that keep me from crossing over into Frumpland. Judging by the jazz in her hair and the ensemble, Miss El-No needs some help!

Elastic waistbands became popular for undergarments during the 1930s. They made their transition to sportswear much later. While the elastic waistband is tricky to sew (a sew-through installation is popular because it avoids rolling or curling of the internal band), it certainly is comfortable. My general rule of thumb is that elastic waistband pants/shorts should only be worn at the gym or post-Thanksgiving football watching.

Miss El-No, I suggest you upgrade this outfit to something that is a bit more Grubbie Glam (instead of these ill-fitting teal shorts).  I love this casual teal knit dress from Lane Bryant. This navy pima cotton dress from Anthropologie might make an appearance in my day-off clothing rotation. Are you on the way to the gym? Check out these Nike running capris. They have a flattering smooth waistband that will not stretch out.

Now, on to this hair. What is happening here with the plastic clips? Please don’t ever do this again. Busy and no time to blow dry? Pull the hair off your face with a hair elastic or a smooth headband. Or try twisting your hair at the nape of you neck to create a loose bun. 

*Thanks for the photo GS!

Tuesday
Jul132010

El-No: The Tour de Pants

I never pay attention to the Tour de France. I know that most people find the annual summer bike race through France thrilling. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Maybe my indifference comes from a lack of excitement for spandex and crowds? But, I just couldn’t get the 3,600 km bike expedition out of my head when I received this reader submitted photo.

(Truth: I totally watched The Bachelorette last night when Ali went on her freaky trip to Wisconsin. So my inspiration may be more about Kirk’s family than France/ Lance. I didn’t know that Livestrong bracelets also worked for mold problems?) But, I digress.

Spandex and Jorts!?!

I understand that spandex is the necessary evil of the sports world, but what purpose do the jean shorts serve? As Lance Armstrong said in an Associated Press interview about a fall on his eighth Tour, “It’s hard to recover from something like that.” I totally agree- this outfit has me in a tizzy.

Miss El-No, if you are planning to go cycling we need to change up this ensemble. I am guessing that you were using the jorts to cover the spandex so we wouldn’t see your bum. Try a bike skort instead. The Novara Carema black skort will perform on and off the bike. Or inject some femininity into your ride with this floral SkirtSports Cruiser BikeGirl option.