Social Media: Friend, Follow, or Stumble


 

Chicago Blogger Network

Entries in Footwear (89)

Thursday
Dec062012

El-No: This Is What We Call The Muppet Shooooow!

It's time to play the music

It's time to light the lights

It's time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet Show tonight.

It's time to put on makeup

It's time to dress up right

It's time to raise the curtain on the Muppet Show tonight.

and... Scene. 

 

From the ridiculous purple hair to the crazy shoes, I'm speechless. 

 

 

Friday
Nov302012

El-No: Two Tone Trixie

The Voice's Melanie Martinez is adorable. Her two tone Rockabilly inspired hair is as fabulous as her sweet singing voice. 

But I couldn't help but think of Melanie when I saw these color blocked tights. Yikes. Before I can even entertain this two tone legwear, the 180 ear muffs and the jazz shoes have to go. Like yesterday. 

Can we get the Team Adam stylist on this ASAP? 

Miss El-No needs a Melanie Martinez inspired outerwear makeover. 

Hat: Kate Spade Bow Ski Hat for $88

Coat: Il Sogno Nel Taschino Coat for $468.98

Shoes: Kate Spade Trixie Flat for $228

 

 

 

 

Thursday
Nov292012

El-Yes: WWJD? 

I'd like to blame my blogging absence on a certain tiny nine month old girl. 

But if JSimp has enough time to be a Weight Watchers spokesperson, take care of a baby, and get pregnant again, I can certainly update my blog. Once I heard the news of her impending arrival, I thought WWJD? (Jessica not Jesus). 

Loading up on spuds for Thanksgiving, I spotted Miss El-Yes at the vegetable market. Girlfriend had it going on. I abandoned my grocery cart and high tailed it over to the canned goods to snap a picture. I love her whole look and think this is the perfect mommy-about-town ensemble. 

I want it... All of it. 

Sweater: Michael Kors Ombre Sweater for $417

Coat: Stella McCartnery Striped Coat for $519.72

Necklace: J. Crew Bubble Necklace for $105

Mom Friendly Necklace Option: Chewbeads Jane Necklace for $29.50

Jeans: J Brand 811 Dark Mid Rise Jean for $196

Boots: Frye Phillip Studded Harness Boot for $288

 

 

Tuesday
Oct162012

El-No: Double Trouble

Whole Foods is filled with all kinds of interesting people watching. I'm pretty sure that I found a mommy posing as a hip hop mogul over by the organic apples.

Miss El-No was clearly a little heavy handed with the old bedazzler because her silver sequins nearly blinded me. I stepped around to get a better view and discovered the silver moon boot high tops. But then I looked up. 

Behind moon boot mom was something far worse. (Hint- look to the right)

Shocked! Awed! Amazed!

A pregnant woman wearing a skin tight striped dress, knee highs, and orange wedge high tops. Bemused smiles (in the direction of the mom to be) were being shared all around the produce section.

It was double momma drama!

These ladies need a fashionable mom makeover because they were both trying waaaaay too hard to be hip.

Mommy #1 can loose the sequins and silver high tops and replace them with this silvery grey Bobi Cowl Neck Pullover ($103) and Steve Madden Favoryte shoes in silver ($69.95). So much more chic!

Mommy #2 and her bump could be a little less bedonka donk. I love this More of Me Emerson Wrap Dress ($190) and these Splendid Culver Wedge Boots ($148 from shopbop.com- take 20% off with the code WEAREFAMILY at checkout) and a pair of black tights. So lovely for Fall!

Tuesday
Oct022012

El-Yes: Amazingly Autumnal

I went to Design Harvest on Sunday. I dipped in and out tents and design stores looking for interior inspiration. I must be really out of the loop because I had no idea that Post 27 and The Painted Lady switched places! 

Somewhere between falling in love with a Nest pumpkin chai candle and a trip to see the farm animals at Christy Webber, I spotted Miss El-Yes. She was coming out of store with vintage kitchen implements and I was cooing at babies. I struggled to get my phone out quickly but only managed to snap a picture as she strolled away. 

She looks fabulously Fall in her boots, slim pants, and a leather peplum jacket. I think that I need this ensemble (as well as that Nest candle that I was eyeing). 

Haider Ackerman Leather Peplum Jacket for $4,540

J.Crew Tissue Turtleneck Tee for $39.50

Gap Legging Jean for $34.95

Tory Burch Jess Flat Riding Boot for $525

 

Wednesday
Sep122012

El-Buy: Fashion Week - Cap Toe

Cap toes a go go!

El-No Chicago Fashion Week - Cap toe

Chanel shoes
bluefly.com

Tory burch flat
toryburch.com

Ivanka trump shoes
piperlime.gap.com

Schutz flat
piperlime.gap.com

Elizabeth and jame
piperlime.gap.com

Kate spade
katespade.com

Loeffler Randall Natalie
piperlime.gap.com

Kate Spade New York Eddie
piperlime.gap.com

Wednesday
Aug292012

El-No: Is That A Mouse In Your Boot? 

Clunk. Squeak. Clunk. Squeak. 

Those were the sounds coming from these HUGE boots as Miss El-No was calumping down the street. 

Clunk. Squeak. Clunk. Squeak. 

The boots looked like they were going to swallow up this small little lady. Of course the huge backpack wasn't doing her any favors either. 

Clunk. Squeak. Clunk. Squeak. 

The constant squeak makes me think that these kicks were made out of PVC. Either that or each step is powered by an army of mice. 

Clunk. Squeak. Clunk. Squeak. 

Make it STOP! I beg of you! 

Clunk. Squeak. Clunk. Squeak. 

Short of soaking the boots in WD-40, I'm not sure that these are salvageable (or attractive... but whose counting). How about these Ecote Alexandra Suede Ankle Boots from Urban Outfitters ($69)? They are less angsty/ Dungeon mistressy and a little more chic. I'd also replace the backpack with this BDG Suede Tote Bag ($59). 

 

 

Thursday
Aug092012

El-No: Change Is Gonna Come

I'll never be the same.

I'm still reeling from yesterday's game changers: The Honey Boo Boo Child Show and City Target.

Let's start with Miss Honey Boo Boo. If reality tv shows were a high school cafeteria, you'd see me sitting with the girly girls, drama queens, and train wrecks. Dating shows and The Real Housewives are really my wheel house but I do love a good train wreck (a la Hoarders). 

Last night, I tried to watch TLC's new show about Honey Boo Boo Child. I lasted five minutes and thought that my brain would explode. I've actually discovered a reality tv show that is too much for me. Just a few minutes of watching had me praying for the future of America and craving cable news. 

I will not be watching again. But I will be going back to the glorious City Target! 

I am in looooove with our new urban Tar-jay. It is so shiny and clean. 

I was exploring yesterday, and discovered Miss El-No near the second floor escalators. She was wearing a low riding mullet skirt and sensible shoes. Yuck. I might have been able to handle the skirt if it weren't for the exposed midriff and podiatry patient kicks. 

Miss El-No should stay on the second floor and pick up this Xihileration Juniors 3/4 Sleeve Dress in Blue/ Black for $24.99. These A2 by Aerosoles sandals ($54.99) are comfortable without being hideous- the black version would look great with the dress. Add a pop of color with this yellow belt from Merona ($12.99). 

 

Tuesday
Jul172012

El-No: Brain Teaser

I love puzzles and jumbles. So, imagine my excitement when I spotted a real life jumble at Whole Foods?! I entered the store looking for pretzel buns, but exited looking for answers.

What was this lady wearing? Silk, spandex, and flip flops! I'm so confused. I'll take "Laundry Day for 1000, Alex."

Maybe Miss El-No should try this V neck ruffle jumpsuit from DKNY for $345 on for size? She could pair it with these Sam Edelman sandals from Piperlime for $65.

That's a winner!

 

Monday
Jun112012

El-Yes: Such A Stud

They distracted me from the bananas.

A glimmering metallic stud caught the light and consequently caught me eye. Add in the black quilted bag, bright orange shorts, and white silk tank- you've got a winner! Miss El-Yes looked positively refreshing.

I love how her edgy ballet shoe (totally the Black Swan of shoes) played with the bright trend forward shorts. Fantastic!

Get Miss El-Yes's look with these adorable studded flats from Steve Madden for $99.95 (or slurge on these beautiful Valentino flats for $595). Stop me in my tracks when you add on some sassy orange shorts from Amanda Uprichard for $107. These silk shorts come in a multitude of colors... I'm kind of obsessed (and I don't even wear shorts!). 

Wednesday
Jun062012

El-No: PSA - Sandals Can Be Pretty

I adore sandal weather. 

In sandals, I feel like I could go to the beach at any moment. It also gives me an excuse to get frequent pedicures. What's not to love about that? 

But there is one little issue that seems to crop up each summer. For some reason these hideous all terrain sandals keep making an appearance. Why oh why would anyone wear these? Are you backpacking through Chicago? This perfectly adorable outfit was ruined because Miss El-No wanted to pretend that she was going white water rafting/ climbing a mountain at the grocery store. Make it stop.

As a public service announcement, I would like to direct your attention to Sandal World. This magical website only stocks adorable summery sandals (perfect for all of those days that you are not crossing a rocky riverbed or hiking the Appalachian Trail). You can thank me by handing over your trail mix. 

Wednesday
May302012

El-No: Cowgirl Crafternoon

Hey there cow pokes! Boot scoot your way on over to Wicker Park. There is a cow girl on the loose and I think that she needs a little wranglin.'

Miss El-No was walking her dog when I stumbled upon her (I say stumbled because I was slowly walking home after an orgasmic char dog lunch at Phil's Last Stand). She was resplendent in cowgirl boots and knit white shorts that were embellished with a row of long white fringe on each side. Judging from the mismatched whites and sewing job, I'd say that Miss El-No was hit with the Pinterest truck and decided to DIY herself up.

I think we all know what happened here. Girlfriend has been watching too much Bachelorette and is trying to lure in boys by channelling her inner Emily Maynard. Sadly, this "Joann Fabrics does Country Western Minx" look is not working. I don't even think she could pull this off in Dollywood.

Skip the cowgirl crafternoon and just order this Blueberry Iced Tea Dress from Modcloth ($47.99). Pair the dress with these Frye Billy Pull On Women's Boots ($268) and you'll be all set!

Tuesday
May222012

El-No: These Shoes Must Go

So, this happened. Someone let their Birkenstocks out of the "Donate" Spring cleaning bag.

(I am embarassed to admit that I had Birkenstock clogs once. I was in high school and was obviously going through a phase. I also spent an disconcerting amount of time making mix tapes. Oh to be seventeen again...)

These unflattering leather sandals should only be worn by the following people: 

1. Costume party hippies 

2. Women over the age of fifty who shop at Chico's and like eclectic jewelry. 

3. Podiatry patients

Mr El-No does not appear to fit into any of these categories. Thus he needs to loose the lame-o sandals and switch into a beachy boat shoe. How about one of the Band of Outsiders for Sperry options? I am in luuuurv with these Men's 3 Eye Boat Shoes for $175. 

 

 

Tuesday
May152012

El-No: Derelict 

I only got like three consecutive hours of sleep last night. That might be why I find this ensemble so hilarious. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm mildly delusional today.

Regardless, a faux fur trench, unlaced Doc Martens, and athletic socks are humorous on their own. But together? It's fashion comedy gold that appears to have been inspired by a volunteer donation sorting shift at the Goodwill intake center.

Lack of clothing continuity aside, Miss El-No needs some serious style updating. She should loose the disastrous juxtapositioning and try out some new seasonally appropriate trends.

How about neon? Maybe this pink Michael Kors dress ($1,595) or this great neon yellow Topshop dress ($92)  paired with these bright sandals from ASOS ($69.50). Much better!

 

* Thanks for the photo MLS 

Tuesday
May152012

El-Yes: Hello. I Love You.

These multi-colored shoes are perfection. When paired with a graphic black and white coat, they are even better.

The kicker? This chica has a small child! Proving that mommas don't have to look frumpy dumpy. Miss El-Yes two thumbs up in my book.

Channel her amazing look with this fabulous Constance black and white striped coat from Alice + Olivia for $495. While a big ticket item, this topper is a great buy for Spring. Add on these Dune Colorblock bold shoes from ASOS for $156.56. They come in blue/green or pink/orange. Sigh. You might need both pairs.  

You'll be the sassiest lady at Bubbles for sure.

Monday
May142012

El-Yes: Sunshine Shoes

Recently, I've been spending an embarrassing amount of time at Starbucks. The baby-friendly environment and caffeinated beverages are like crack to a new mom. This weekend, in a sleepy haze, I stumbled into our neighborhood Starbucks for a hit... I mean an iced coffee. I saw these fabulous bright yellow shoes. 

I need these sunny kicks! One look at them made me forget my fatigue and instead, start humming along to Katrina and The Waves. I'm totally walking on sunshine!

I am in lust with these Belle Sigerson Morrison laser cut ballet flats. The bright yellow and fabulous cut-outs are perfect for summer. I. MUST. HAVE. THESE. SHOES. ($225)

 

 

Tuesday
May082012

El-No: Looney Lunar Look

The moon was REALLY big this weekend. HUGE.

So, I am choosing to blame this wackadoo ensemble on the full moon. Clearly Miss El-No's sequined constellation cardigan was inspired by the celestial bodies. (I think that is Ursa Minor over by her armpit)

Peter Pan just called for this little lady. He wants her to take the "second star to the right and go straight on till morning." The morning light should help her realize that the rest of the outfit doesn't really jive. She needs to ditch the Stary Night sweater and the tropical maxi skirt. 

How about this amazing Wildfox "Seeing Stars" cream sweatshirt for $108 from Nordstrom? She could pair it with these J.Crew peach shorts ($45) and these adorbs J.Crew Mona leather pumps in dusty clay ($198). Now that is a much more dazzling look!

 

Wednesday
Mar072012

El-No: You Need A New Best Friend

As I write this, two chubby little french bulldogs are snoring away to my right. These little loves provide oodles of kisses, licks, and laughs. They are also quite fashion savy and would never let me leave the house in this type of ensemble.

Woof! Don't even think about wearing that shiz. See? 

It appears that Miss El-No's canine bestie is not schooled in the art of styling. Clearly the dog is responsible for the hideous Reeboks and pant/ skirt layering situation. Fido should have chewed up those kicks the minute they were removed from the box.

While still nodding to Springtime brights, Miss EL-No can do much better than this look. How about these turquoise fitted skinny jeans from Forever 21 ($15.50)? For a dog walk, I'd pair them with these adorbs plaid laceless Keds for $45. 

*Thanks for the photo SR

 

Thursday
Feb092012

El-No: Bad Idea Boxers

"You better post that on Facebook."

Darnit! I got apprehended!

It was the first time I was caught red handed taking a photo for my blog. My entrappers were two SAIC girls on a smoke break outside. They had been watching Miss El-No walk down Michigan Ave for a few minutes. "I think those are boxer shorts."

Damn skippy. Those were boxer shorts. Worn in combination with grey nylons, grey leg warmers, and white Reeboks. The whole ensemble was like a strange hybrid of morning after walk of shame, laundry laziness, and an ode to 90's fitness.

I didn't get it. Either did the art school sidewalk commentators.

Truth: I don't have the legs for shorts. But, I do think that they can be really cute in the winter when paired with opaque tights and even knit legwarmers. Maybe these Theory Wool Jersery Shorties ($80) would work? Obviously, girlfriend should replace the Reeboks with these MacAlister Wedge Booties ($198) from J.Crew.

Wednesday
Feb012012

El-No: Here Comes The Hotstepper

Yes. This happened. 

My guess? 

Miss El-No heard that Ferris Bueller was making a comeback in one of this year's highly anticipated Super Bowl 2012 ads. She obviously wanted to make him feel nostalgic for the 80s and his movie girlfriend Sloane. Ahh, young love. 

Either that or Miss El-No actually thinks that white fringe booties are a good idea. 

Chalk this misstep up to love, loss, and John Hughes.