El-No: Pleats Please! A January PSA

It is freaking cold outside. Brrrrrrr. 

My first train ride of 2013 and I run smack into a outwear travesty (not to mention a major pet peeve). Seriously people! Is it so hard to just get a pair of scissors and snip the thread that holds the pleat closed?!

That stitch is just there to keep the pleat flat while in a retail store. Keeping the pleat closed ruins the line of the coat when you wear it. Notice how this closed vent make the coat pull across her bum? She is a lovely girl with a lovely cream colored wool coat. 

Make it stop. 

As I disembarked from the Blue line, I mentioned to Miss El-No that her coat vent was still closed. She looked at me like I had six heads. Whatever girlfriend, you're the one wearing Ugg slippers on the train. 

El-No: Two Tone Trixie

The Voice's Melanie Martinez is adorable. Her two tone Rockabilly inspired hair is as fabulous as her sweet singing voice. 

But I couldn't help but think of Melanie when I saw these color blocked tights. Yikes. Before I can even entertain this two tone legwear, the 180 ear muffs and the jazz shoes have to go. Like yesterday. 

Can we get the Team Adam stylist on this ASAP? 

Miss El-No needs a Melanie Martinez inspired outerwear makeover. 

Hat: Kate Spade Bow Ski Hat for $88

Coat: Il Sogno Nel Taschino Coat for $468.98

Shoes: Kate Spade Trixie Flat for $228

El-Yes: WWJD?

I'd like to blame my blogging absence on a certain tiny nine month old girl. 

But if JSimp has enough time to be a Weight Watchers spokesperson, take care of a baby, and get pregnant again, I can certainly update my blog. Once I heard the news of her impending arrival, I thought WWJD? (Jessica not Jesus). 

Loading up on spuds for Thanksgiving, I spotted Miss El-Yes at the vegetable market. Girlfriend had it going on. I abandoned my grocery cart and high tailed it over to the canned goods to snap a picture. I love her whole look and think this is the perfect mommy-about-town ensemble. 

I want it... All of it. 

Sweater: Michael Kors Ombre Sweater for $417

Coat: Stella McCartnery Striped Coat for $519.72

Necklace: J. Crew Bubble Necklace for $105

Mom Friendly Necklace Option: Chewbeads Jane Necklace for $29.50

Jeans: J Brand 811 Dark Mid Rise Jean for $196

Boots: Frye Phillip Studded Harness Boot for $288

El-Yes: Hello. I Love You.

These multi-colored shoes are perfection. When paired with a graphic black and white coat, they are even better.

The kicker? This chica has a small child! Proving that mommas don't have to look frumpy dumpy. Miss El-Yes two thumbs up in my book.

Channel her amazing look with this fabulous Constance black and white striped coat from Alice + Olivia for $495. While a big ticket item, this topper is a great buy for Spring. Add on these Dune Colorblock bold shoes from ASOS for $156.56. They come in blue/green or pink/orange. Sigh. You might need both pairs.  

You'll be the sassiest lady at Bubbles for sure.

El-Yes: Seasonal Disorder

I think Spring might have sprung.

I'm using that as my rational for all the florals that I've been craving. Yesterday, I almost broke out my cream colored floral flats (I know it is too soon... But they just looked so lonely in their box). These crazy temperatures and sunny days have me all mixed up.

Miss El-Yes has the right idea for the spring-like temps in a decidedly winter month. Seasonal pattern mixing! Right on sister. I love her plaid coat and floral scarf combination.

Get this look with a little help from Free People. This gorgeous vintage brushed plaid coat ($248) will take you through the cool temps expected in February and March. Pair it with this great DVF flowery scarf ($165). The color and pattern are a perfect way to inject a little Springtime sass.

El-No: The Abominable Snowman

Lock your doors! 

Hide your children!

Someone get Burl Ives on the phone!

There is a Yeti on the loose in Chicago (and judging by this reader submitted photo, he is shopping for home goods). I had no idea that snow people liked gourmet sauces and high-end pasta. 

Avoid getting mistaken for this guy by ditching the ridiculous outerwear. Mr El-No might want to try something a little more sleek. Perhaps this gorgeous Wallace & Barnes dock peacoat from J.Crew ($695) would do the trick? 

*Thanks for the photo JBW

El-No: A Tail of Two Cities

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity... - Charles Dickens A Tale of Two Cities

I'm confused. 

This reader submitted photo has me feeling tumultuous, much like a narrator in a Dickens novel. Yay! I get to write about a guy wearing a tail. Boooooo! Someone left their house wearing a tail and an American flag jean jacket.

What happened here? Perhaps a rogue game of pin the tail on the donkey? Big sale at Petco? Maybe this guy is on the way to a Furry convention? (Regretfully a quick internet search opened up a cache of information on Furries- yikes!) 

Anyway, I think Mr El-No should trade in the unseasonable denim jacket for a warmer outerwear option. Keep your tail toasty in the Chicago snow with this camel hair car coat from Banana Republic. This classic is only $250 (but if you order online today you can use the code BRSNOW for 35% off your whole order). 

*Thanks for the laugh and the photo AP! 

El-Yes: I Am Your Singing Telegram

Colonel Mustard did it in the Library with a rope! 

Oh wait, sorry. We aren't playing Clue are we? 

I saw Miss Mustard outside of the Cultural Center and was instantly in luurrvv with her beautiful coat. It was a rich creamy leather (I only know this because I followed her across the street to get a closer look). This zesty color is a perfect compliment for crunching through colorful leaves this season.

You can pick up this Autumnal look at Boden. Their mustard colored swing coat ($248) is adorable, and a great shape for this little preggo. It also comes in "Shocking Pink," so you can wear it and think about Italian designer Elsa Schaparelli!

El-Buy: The Great Fall Cape

Maybe I’m just really into super heroes.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the cool weather on the horizon and I think a cape might be a good move. Miss El-Yes looks absolutely lovely with her camel colored cloak.

Capes have been around for ages. The Industrial Revolution brought us factories, building materials, and fabulous fashion accessories like the poncho. During the Romantic Period, women’s garments featured very large puffy sleeves that could not fit into a traditional coat sleeve. Capes (called burnouses or paletots) were the answer.

Revive history and look amazing this Fall with a week full of capes.

Steal: LA Kitty Jacket, V Neck Short Sleeve Tie Cape Coat for $56

Splurge: Rachel Roy Cape Coat for $598

Work: Mackage Thea Belted Cape Coat for $530

Weekend Brunch: Calvin Klein Belted Cape for $148

Tailgate: DKNY Nylon Cape for $79.90

Happy Hour: Wren Lizzie Cape Coat for $675

Evening: Novelty Outerwear Coat for $847

*Thanks for the photo DH

El-No: It’s a Jungle Out There!

Me, Tarzan. You, Wearing a hideous outfit.

I can’t believe that Tarzan abandoned Jane!

What a jerk.  Never trust a man in a loincloth.

Truth be told, I’d probably ditch her too if she showed up wearing this animal print explosion to my party. Miss El-No, what’s with the Zoo themed crazy quilt coat? How is this a good idea?

Please ditch this patterned disaster for something a touch more toned down and chic.

Leopard Outwear Love:

Splurge: Matthew Williamson Leopard Effect Jacquard Coat for $1,695

Stunning: Irving & Fine Leopard Coat for $650

Steal: Asos River Island Leopard Trench for $125.49



El-No: T.G.I.W.T.F.

You know you’re in trouble when even the bus driver gives an amused snort of laughter at your outfit. Cue puzzled looks and under-the-breath chuckling.

Yes, Miss El-No was a definite head shaker during the morning commute.

I’ve never thought of a fleece panda bear bathrobe as a good layering piece. But layer she did! I hope today is PJ Day at work.

Miss El-No coupled an on-trend maxi skirt with her bathrobe, a t-shirt, and a red velvet coat. Obviously aware that you loose 40% of your body heat through your head, Miss El-No had the hood of her bathrobe up and ready for action!

Well at least she’s warm.

Leave the pandas at the zoo and find something new to pair with your skirt. I love this look from Akris. They paired a very tailored version of the peasant top with an asymmetrical hemmed floor-length skirt.



El-Yes: Trump Card

Hazy from our Vegas adventure and famished, my husband and I hit up a Mexican place in the Denver Airport.

In mid food order I looked over and saw an adorable pregnant girl wearing a great ensemble. Obviously taking photos trumped my salad order, so I stepped away from the counter and tried to position myself to get a good picture. Then I heard her unmistakable voice. “May I get a water?”

Ivanka look like this when I travel.

Clad in a ¾ length sleeve khaki wool cape/ coat and carrying a lovely eggplant colored leather bar, she was just stunning. I actually froze when I realized it was Ivanka Trump. An accidental member of the paparazzi, I didn’t want her to think I was trying to get a picture! So this photo is the best I could manage.

I wonder if she is hiring a style Apprentice? If so, I would like the job.

Get an updated Spring version of this look by changing up the fabric and color. I love this navy ¾ length ruffle trench for $435 from Milly. Pair it with a stylish tote (perfect for carrying water, a computer, and treats on board the flight). I like this white Gucci icon bit bag for $1,600.



El-No: Faux Fur Flintstone Faux Pas

Brrr… it is cold!

Snow and ice in a Chicago winter is old news. But I still am never prepared for the bleak grey cold. Basically the “-uary” months are very un-merry.

Now that I am an iPhone user (gifted to me by my sweet husband), I guess I can understand the need for a warm purse. Does anyone else notice their phone acting slow in freezing temps? Maybe mine is just protesting because our relationship began in the heat of the Canary Islands?

But I digress.

Miss El-No seems to be fighting these freezing temps with an unsightly faux fur bag. Yuck.  (Although I bet her phone and wallet are nice and toasty.)

Does anyone else feel like they are trapped in a real life Hanna-Barbera cartoon? I was just waiting for Wilma and Pebbles to show up. This is a yabba dabba don't for sure.

Leave the wooly purse in Bedrock and do faux fur the right way. Check out the Rachel Zoe collection at QVC. I love this gorgeous faux fur collarless coat. At only $139.74 it is stylish and affordable.

Guest Post By Susie Stylist- El-No: I want a girl in a short skirt and a long jacket

So wouldn’t you know, I finally see an El-No worth photographing AND my blackberry (and child) was in hand ready to shoot, and this is what I got:

I either need a better camera or to fine-tune my henchmen skills.

I spotted Miss El-No in the garage of my gym strutting her stuff towards her car and presumably on to work. Her outdated hosiery was what first caught my attention, but as I studied her, I noticed that I couldn’t see the skirt/dress under her short coat. <insert inner dialogue: “Is she a flasher?” I thought. “ Is she young enough for such a scandalous hemline?”>  Whatever she is or wherever she was going, this outfit, ladies and gentlemen, was not appropriate.  I can appreciate her effort to look professional, but I cannot get behind the amount of leg I was seeing. Unless that profession involves removing her clothing, which assuming from the amount of paperwork she was carrying, it does not.

I wish I could have stopped her and explained that opaque tights and a longer coat would have made this a better look.  Perhaps one of these:

Draped Collar by Mossimo Coat for $35

Double-cloth lady day Coat from $180

Alma Jacket by Mackage for $595

*Thank you all for reading this week!  And now back to your regularly scheduled blogger.

El-No: Call Of The Wild

Meow.

A leopard print coat, scarf, and purse seem like an intense choice for shopping with the family. All that kitty might scare the kiddies.

Evidently Miss El-No has not read my Animal Print primer. I’ll forgive her, she seems to have her hands full.

I’ll break this down in family friendly terms: all that animal print will make you look like you live in the tropics or the tundra (and I don’t mean the shopping wasteland on Chicago Ave between Ashland and Damen… Seriously I need more than the Alcala. A girl can only purchase so much western apparel).

Miss El-No, please pick one leopard print item to wear. If you keep going overboard on animal print you might end up looking like an extra in George of the Jungle.



El-Yes: Stay Sweet In The Snow

Funnel cakes are gooey sweet treat for summer. But what’s a girl to do in the chilly winter when street fairs are a distant memory?

Funnel necks. What a sweet way to stay warm.

I have seen a great deal of them over the last few blustery weeks. They are a graceful and lovely way to bundle up.  Typically constructed as an extension of the actual garment, they are a wide-neck soft-roll collar.

I was quite happy when a funnel neck wearing girly landed at my house for a holiday Junior League meeting. She was magnificently modern in her magenta wool.

Beautiful on a Budget: Gap Wool Blend Funnel Neck Coat in Camel for $79.99

Lincoln Park Trixie Approved: Mackage Wool Blend Funnel Neck Trixie Coat in Black for $330.40

Wintertime Luxury: Sofia Cashmere Ruffle Neck Coat in Ivory for $495

A Snowy Splurge (and my personal favorite): Maison Martin Margiela Hi-Rise Jacket in Black for $1,475



El-No: Big Pimp In A Furry Coat

Cold weather and snow has created a horrible men’s outerwear pandemic.

Hide your kids! Hide your wives! There are hustlers on the loose!

Mr El-No is obviously on his way to pimp school (hence the backpack/ fur coat combo). Looks like he has a heavy course load because that backpack is jammed full of books.

Business must be good because these pelt situations don’t come cheap. According to Hip Hop Closet, these lovely fur numbers range from $150 (for the faux fur) to $4,5000 for a black mink pea coat. Yowza! I am certain that the Navy didn't foresee this when they initially designed the pea coat.

I think this playa needs to loose the fur and check out this nylon parka. A bit more laid back, this coat is perfect for snowy school days. The heavy backpack straps won’t wear on this rough and tumble jacket. I love the cozy fleece lining as much as I like the sale price. At only $345 this parka is perfect.

*Thanks for the photo HG!

El-No: A Blur of Fur

I saw this gentleman at Starbucks yesterday. Mr El-No was nestled snug in his faux fur hoodie, with visions of soy lattes to chase away the brrrr.

(Evidentially I have been watching too many Christmas movies because I am thinking in holiday rhymes).

Men have been wearing fur coats forever. So it is really a more contemporary marvel for men to abandon the pelts and pick up wool topcoats. Is it wrong to say I am relieved?

I am anti man fur and am secretly hoping that Julian Assange will WikiLeaks this out to aid in my cause.

I wish that Mr El-No would loose the zippy faux fur jacket and keep warm with this gorgeous cashmere coat from J.Crew instead. It is beautiful and also on sale! What a perfect holiday treat.



El-No: Have A Holly Jolly Christmas

Nothing says Christmas like Burl Ives and a big fluffy white coat.

Call her a Yeti or the Abominable Snowlady, but I think Miss El-No is on her way to visit the Island of Misfit Toys. I hope Santa and Rudolph swing past the mall and pick up something without a big fluffy hood.

These creamy white outerwear options won’t have you scaring the townsfolk or Hermey the Elf. Check out the buttons on the Marc Jacobs- they are like sparkling little ornaments.

Tulle Vintage Wool Coat for $85

Mackage Double Breasted Wool Coat for $780

Marc Jacobs Double Breasted Double Face Coat for $1,194



El-Yes: Orange You Glad I Didn’t Wear Banana?

I love a pop of color in the winter. Notice I said POP.

I saw Miss El-No doing some shopping in this ginger colored topcoat. She looked deliciously stylish. Like sprinkles on a Christmas cookie, her orange coat and made the snowy day seem a bit more beautiful.

But color can be scary for some. Instead of shelling out for an investment piece, try on some of these Boden coats for size. Easy on the pocketbook, you will make a Rainbow Connection in no time!

Boden Coats by ElNoChicago featuring a wool coat

Chic Wool Coat-WE275-Coats at Boden
$268 - bodenpreview.com
Wool coat »

Fur Collar Coat WE274 Coats at Boden
180 GBP - boden.co.uk
Coats »

Soho Jacket WE265 Jackets at Boden
$168 - bodenusa.com
Jackets »

Carnaby Coat-WE272-Coats at Boden
$138 - bodenusa.com
Coats »

Schlechtwettermantel WE280 Mäntel at Boden
129 EUR - bodenpreview.co.uk

Chamonix Puffer WE278 Coats at Boden
$98 - bodenusa.com

Houndstooth Coat WE270 Coats at Boden
$86 - bodenusa.com